Ok, so here's the deal. I'm having trouble working out the details about a forest scene, where two men are traveling and need to converse. Basically the backstory to this scene is that this wandering woodcarver (Cole) had had a criptic vision of of his destiny in life, shown to him by a seer. While he's milling around a town that he found work to do, he sees this guy who just happened to be in his vision. So interest piqued, he decides to follow the man and see where it leads him. He winds up following the guy to another town, where he gets attacked by monster-ish creatures and kinda saves his life. It then gives Cole the change to intro himself to the guy who he's been following in secret since the last town. they end up going for a drink and staying at the safe inn. During their stay, while a little loose on drink, the man (Eagan) reveals to Cole that he is a member of the resistance, looking to overthrough the the evil ruler, and free the kingdom(cliche I know . . . .but it's for young adult fantasy) and he asks Cole to join him and travel to the resistance's stronghold. The scene starts with describing them getting up and starting on their journey.
This is what I have, but I'm not too keen on it. Actually the first two sentences are all I like right now.
The men had risen at daybreak and packed their bags. After settling up with the innkeeper and gobbling down a quick breakfast, the men headed down the north road out of town.
[They walked swiftly down the forest path, keeping the same pace as before. Only this time, the men traveled side by side.]
What needs to happen in this scene is this:
* needs to decribe the traveling in general (like pace, what it looks like, ect. Very basic and can be short)
* they need to start a conversation.
* during the conversation, Eagan has to tell Cole about his wife, Lynde. He must know that she is at the stronghold, she was a seamstress before the occupation, and then something endearing about her.
* Eagan also has to explain that he is pretty high up in the ranks of the resistance. He has been on a fact-finding mission for three months. He has to be pretty closed lipped about much more than that, for security sake.
If you have any ideas . . .I'm all ears (or eye as thde case may be)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Cole Opening Paragraphs
Just two more hours, he thought. Just two more.
Cole was so consumed by anxiety and eagerness that he couldn't concentrate on his carving. Trying to focus, he repeated the words, using them like a mantra to calm himself and his overactive brain. He had a job to finish before he was free to do anything, and the more time his brain spent on other things, the longer it would take to complete his task.
It was unlike Cole to be so unstable in his thoughts. Usually he was persistent in his duties. As a young boy he learned the hard way that a man's worth was decided by his actions. Since then he has had an insatiable quench to prove himself in all things that he did. Doing odd jobs to earn a night's keep, he discovered within himself a knack for carpentry, and preforming such tasks with grace and skill gave him a sense of great satisfaction. Not only did he excel in creating wonderful woodcarvings, but the carving gave him a feeling of peace and mental acuity that he did not find anywhere else. Today though, he could not find the peace he so desperately sought after. Instead, Cole could think of nothing but what he saw in the marketplace this morning, and the consequences that could come from it.
This morning, while walking through the marketplace on his way to work, he saw an average man buying food. Normally, Cole would have never given it a second thought. Such an ordinary scene wouldn't have even registered in his mind, except that the man looked familiar. For a glimpse, Cole could see the man's face, and it sparked something in his memory. He didn't know what at first, but digging deeper, he realized exactly where he had seen that face before.
* This is the first couple of paragraphs from a new story I'm writing (I know I jump around a lot) Places in need of work, questions, and random comments accepted and encouraged!
Thanks,
Cole was so consumed by anxiety and eagerness that he couldn't concentrate on his carving. Trying to focus, he repeated the words, using them like a mantra to calm himself and his overactive brain. He had a job to finish before he was free to do anything, and the more time his brain spent on other things, the longer it would take to complete his task.
It was unlike Cole to be so unstable in his thoughts. Usually he was persistent in his duties. As a young boy he learned the hard way that a man's worth was decided by his actions. Since then he has had an insatiable quench to prove himself in all things that he did. Doing odd jobs to earn a night's keep, he discovered within himself a knack for carpentry, and preforming such tasks with grace and skill gave him a sense of great satisfaction. Not only did he excel in creating wonderful woodcarvings, but the carving gave him a feeling of peace and mental acuity that he did not find anywhere else. Today though, he could not find the peace he so desperately sought after. Instead, Cole could think of nothing but what he saw in the marketplace this morning, and the consequences that could come from it.
This morning, while walking through the marketplace on his way to work, he saw an average man buying food. Normally, Cole would have never given it a second thought. Such an ordinary scene wouldn't have even registered in his mind, except that the man looked familiar. For a glimpse, Cole could see the man's face, and it sparked something in his memory. He didn't know what at first, but digging deeper, he realized exactly where he had seen that face before.
* This is the first couple of paragraphs from a new story I'm writing (I know I jump around a lot) Places in need of work, questions, and random comments accepted and encouraged!
Thanks,
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